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I would rather like to talk about how Kanbaru Suruga is pretty stupid, but I wonder if you would listen to me.
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Well, I don't think this story has a point. None at all.
In my time, I've come to hate many people, to detest many people?
I found a devil inside myself, and made him grow?
But still I wondered what others did in their lives.
Now I will tell you of my story and hers.
Please let me share it.
I know that I live stupidly.
How
do you live, I wonder?
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If you can't be medicine, then turn into poison.
Otherwise, you'd just be plain old water.
Such words were second nature to my mother.
I don't think you can call my mother a good one.
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Suruga,
you're sure to lead a more troublesome life than others—
one that's all too tedious and annoying.
I think she was a bit eccentric.
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However, I don't say that because you're better than everyone else,
but because you are weak.
And you'll have to spend your entire life shouldering that weakness.
I had an eccentric mother, I think.
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I just hope your troubles don't become your raison d'etre.
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She was the kind of person who loved throwing people for a loop
by spouting incomprehensible words like she knew it all.
I feel like, to her, I was just "that little thing over there," and nothing more.
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Once she and my father passed away, I was taken in by my paternal grandparents,
and to this day, I still don't know what he saw in her.
Rather, it's not a question of why he fell in love with her,
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but why she went as far as to run away to marry my father.
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That reminds me, my father once said, "that girl's standing in for God in this mortal world."
Looking back now, the fact that he referred to his wife as "that girl" brings a smile to my face.
That said, I find it hard to agree with him.
You were already cursed when you turned out to be my daughter.
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I can't accept his opinion.
If I consider you cute, that's not because I actually want to,
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How should I say this?
Right. If you ask me,
but because I'm forced to by God.
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she was more like the devil.
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God and the devil are just two sides of the same coin.
Debate this endlessly as we might, humans will always be dancing in the palm of their hands.
So stop racking your brain over things that are clear as day...
So she said.
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My mother.
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Kanbaru Tooe—
maiden name Gaen Tooe—says to me:
and wake up already, my stupid girl!
An exciting new school term begins today!
9th of April
Oh god...
That was the worst wake-up call of all time.
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Ever since I unknowingly attacked Araragi in my sleep—
ever since I got possessed by a devil—
I've been tying myself up with these ridiculous "chains" every night.
Being aware of your unconscious destructive impulses must be tough, Suruga.
Ignorance is bliss.
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I'm good.
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It looks like
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I didn't commit any crimes yesterday.
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Need nail clippers...
Oh god.
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If I start looking for nail clippers now, I'll definitely be late for school.
If you really try, you can cut your nails with scissors.
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Bad idea.
Oh well.
"I should just go the whole hog,"
is what I think sometimes,
but I can't bring myself to make that decision.
I must have the tendency to be torn between options.
Torn.
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Actually, I'm usually the one doing the tearing,
so that might not be the best phrase to describe me.
Then I should just cut to the chase and call myself greedy.
I am Greed.
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I desire everything, only to lose it all.
I am Greed, and I love Senjougahara.
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I start chasing every rabbit I see and end up catching none of them.
That's me, Kanbaru Suruga, and that's just how my life goes.
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As proof, I even lost my nail clippers.
Though, well, if I used that as leverage to rant against my destiny with my room as messy as it is,
Senjougahara and Araragi might get mad at me.
That's when it hit me:
I'll never be scolded by those two lovable seniors again.
Because they're gone.
I can still feel their presence, but it's merely an illusion.
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Laughing at my inability to move on, I head to school—
to a Naoetsu Private High School that has lost Araragi Koyomi and Senjougahara Hitagi.
I'd never lose it
It will always gnaw at my heart
Is there anything that you can offer me
in return for my admiration years ago?
A twisted light brings us back together
and suddenly my loneliness is lit up
On the waterside I see the summer haze
One day it will be gone like the flowers
I'm afflicted by incurable sadness
I made up an excuse to keep others at bay
I'd like to plant a faint kiss of goodbye on that
and be someone who turns around to face you in the crowd
Before everything grows faint and dim,
I want to find use for my pain
Suruga Devil Episode One
Font used in the video: HGP Mincho B
Scene no. 128
The way I put it made it sound like the two of them had died or something,
but it's not like that at all.
They'd simply graduated high school, is all.
They graduated, and I became a third-year.
That's all.
That's all there is to it.
Anyway, today's April the 9th—
the day I, Kanbaru Suruga, officially become a third-year.
Now I am all alone.
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Oh, hello, Suruga.
Good morning, Ougi, my boy.
Wait. "Ougi... my boy"?
Weren't you a girl?
What are you talking about?
I've always been a guy.
I popped out of my mother's womb a boy, and not for a second has that ever been untrue.
Now that I think back on it, I do seem to recall you being a guy.
My bad.
I seem to have made a mistake.
Nothing wrong with an honest mistake every now and then.
Life would be too stifling if we weren't allowed to make any faux pas at all.
Speaking of which, you can't spell "past" without the "pas" in "faux pas."
Does that mean unequivocally everything in the past was a mistake?
That's... not how you use the word "unequivocally."
I almost said that out loud,
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but refrained from it in time.
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Elite Course
Retirement Course
Career Course
Cycling Course
Jogging Course
Beginner Course
University Course
Job Placement Course
Wedding Course
Now that I think about it, the word "future" goes back to Latin and means "I am not yet."
Maybe life just consists entirely of negatives.
Oh, no.
What's wrong, Suruga?
Did all that running hurt you somewhere?
A few kilometers won't hurt me. My body's made of stronger stuff.
There's something you want to talk to me about, right?
You wouldn't call out to me otherwise.
Oh?
Over-directed
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That's awfully cold of you.
I was afraid I'd get frostbite.
Can't I talk to you without a reason?
If I had to choose, I think I'd find it scarier if you did have one.
Gee, how warmhearted of you.
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Suruga,
have you heard the rumor about the devil?
The devil?
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My third-year classroom—
the same one Araragi, Senjougahara, and Hanekawa frequented last year.
Come on, now.
Araragi Koyomi
This must be Senjougahara's desk.
Morning, Ruga!
We finally get to be classmates this year, huh?
This is Higasa.
A basketball teammate of mine.
She was vice-captain last year and took the reins once I retired.
Yeah, about time.
Let's go home together, Ruga.
Sorry, I need to go buy some reference books.
I made up a passable excuse.
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Lying doesn't bother me.
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What? Don't tell me you took what the teacher said earlier about "being a good final-year student" seriously.
C'mon, girl. That's "in one ear, out the other" stuff!
Not exactly, but yeah.
I got a late start, so I need to study harder than your average student.
I won't get into college with my current grades.
I see.
Well, you are pretty stupid.
That was blunt.
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But how does she know?
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That was supposed to be my secret!
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See you tomorrow, then.
O-Okay.
Oh yeah, Higasa.
You ever heard of the devil?
Oh ho?
Why would a positive girl like you be aware of that rumor?
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Apparently it's a sort of charm that's all the rage among Naoetsu High students lately.
If you talk to the devil about any problems or worries you have,
it'll be solved for sure, or so they say.
The "for sure" makes it sound extremely fishy,
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but no matter how fishy it might be,
we're talking about a devil here— and one that grants wishes, at that.
I have to take action.
Because, for all we know, I could be the devil myself.
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The rumor says "for sure," but apparently it's not as unconditional.
I hear the devil doesn't take up requests that are too extreme.
As for what makes something "too extreme,"
they say it's cases where you're better off going to the police.
The hell?
That's awfully particular—or well, pragmatic.
At the very least, it's not the kind of condition the devil would have when granting wishes.
Of course not.
This "devil" we're talking about
seems to be a particular, pragmatic human being.
Human being?
A girl around high school age, apparently.
You mean to say some high schooler's pretending to be the devil
and accepting requests from students of Naoetsu High?
A high school girl?
Sounds more and more like me.
Well, yeah.
But whether she's actually pretending or not is still up in the air.
She just might be the real deal.
Didn't you say it was a particular, pragmatic human being?
Who said a particular, pragmatic human being couldn't be the devil?
I mean, she solves your problems for sure.
I can't think of her as just some nice girl.
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Well, it's no big deal. Araragi just mentioned something like that in the text he sent me earlier.
Araragi?
Did Kanbaru just say "Araragi"?
What's going on?
For real?!
Is she text buddies with him?
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I've heard rumors about the devil too.
Yoohoo!
Araragi Karen
I figured Tsukihi would make her move soon,
so I've been secretly recharging my batteries in preparation.
The flames of justice take their toll on the Earth too!
Unlike what happened last summer break,
we haven't heard of anyone being adversely affected by this.
That's making it hard for Tsukihi to take action.
That said, this person's saying they're the devil and taking requests from people.
Just the fact that they came up with the idea makes them abnormal.
Isn't there a chance this devil could be the real thing?
Private Naoetsu High School
Please, Suruga. What are you saying?
No way the devil actually exists.
I'm in high school now, you know.
I don't believe in spirits anymore!
Listen to this, Suruga.
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My brother is the real shit.
The other day he said "I got some time, let's have fun," when he came to my room half-naked, and, like, he had these nail clippers, and my bare skin
Hold on, should you really be telling me this?
Shouldn't that be your secret?
Even one as I was taken aback.
Anyway, Karen. Here's what I want to know:
Do you have any idea how to meet this devil?
Well...
There are three ways to meet the devil,
and if we were to categorize them under "easy," "normal," and "hard,"
the simplest way to do so would be to write a letter.
If you suddenly can't find the letter where you left it, that means the devil accepted your request.
As for how normal mode goes,
it's your standard phone call,
but there's no way to tell which number to call at any given time.
It's also hard to figure out if it's a guy or a girl on the other end.
The voice sounds muddled, as though the receiver has a handkerchief draped over it.
They don't speak too much, either.
Just a "yes" or "no" at the end.
Finally, hard mode—
and you might've figured this out by now—
you meet the devil face-to-face.
Of course,
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to actually meet the devil,
I opted for the last choice.
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So where would I have to go to meet them, let's say, today?
Well, that changes all the time too,
Entry Strictly Prohibited
To Mountain Climbers
Due to deforestation this mountain forest will be entry prohibited at all times. Any and all trespassers will be
Areas Off Limits
Western Eastern
and whether you actually get to meet them there depends on your luck, but right now...
Objects Falling Take Care
Warning Entry Prohibited!
This is private property, and entry is strictly prohibited regardless of reason.
We will report you to the police on sight to have you arrested!
The Management
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I may have laid out three options,
but most people end up going with the very first one.
Seven out of every ten people send their requests to the devil by letter.
I'd say two of the remaining three call.
And the last one comes to see you in person,
I take it?
Nah. The last one gives up when faced with the third option.
Out of every ten people, the one that'd go so far as to bring their problems directly to the devil would be the eleventh.
And well, they very likely have serious issues,
so I end up referring them to the police, a lawyer, or a child welfare center.
So far, only two people have come to see the devil face-to-face,
and both of them ended up taking those measures.
That said,
you seem to be different,
Kanbaru Suruga.
That's right,
Numachi Rouka.
Numachi Rouka
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It makes me happy to see you still remember me.
Numachi Rouka:
a basketball player from another school in this area who I faced multiple times on the court back in junior high.
So much so that it'd be better to call us arch-enemies than rivals.
I don't remember ever having lost, but I never truly won, either.
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I was an offensive slasher,
whereas Numachi was a slippery lockdown defender.
That left arm of yours, Kanbaru...
So the rumors about it being made of glass were true.
Looks like we're in the same boat, then.
Why do star players have to be so susceptible to injury?
In our last middle school tournament,
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Numachi badly hurt her left leg during a match right before she would've faced us.
She was forced to retire.
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I threw my entrance exams away to rehab, you see.
So now I'm a part-timer living in the moment.
But it's hard to find employment with my leg in this state,
so I'm more unemployed than a part-timer, really.
And that's why I can be the devil.
You know what they say about idle hands.
So you playing devil is a job replacement since you can't get one with that injured leg?
Huh?
You've got it all wrong.
While I certainly am acting as the devil right now,
it's not like I'm making any money off of it.
I do it all for free.
For free? She solves problems without charging any money?
That sounds almost like...
Almost like Araragi.
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If you're not in it for the money, why are you doing this?
Do I have to give you an explanation?
Yeah.
I guess I can.
This devil business was done for the moment an amateur sleuth like you found me.
It's been three years since I retired from basketball in junior high.
I've spent that entire time lending a helpful ear to people with problems—
by hook, crook, and every trick in the book.
Er, you wanted to know why I'm doing this?
"If I'm not in it for the money, then what for," was it?
Yeah. That's what I asked you.
To help people and make this world a better place, of course.
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Just kidding.
I do it for me.
Purely for the benefit of myself, Numachi Rouka.
I guess you could say it's all for this left leg.
Exam Success
Exam Failure
By listening to people with problems and concerns,
I get to meet many others as unhappy as me, and some even worse off.
I get to sigh in relief that I'm not the only one.
I play the devil for that, and that alone.
Oops. Didn't take you long to scorn me.
You're straight as an arrow.
The letters that you high schoolers send to me—the devil—and all those phone conversations I recorded
are my most prized possessions.
I've spent the three years since I put up shop collecting the misfortune of others.
Collection
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I can't say that's in very good taste.
Don't get so worked up, Kanbaru.
You look like you're coming to punch the daylights out of me.
Don't close in like that.
You're too intimidating, honestly.
You used to get much closer when boxing me out.
Beats me.
It's all in the past now. I've forgotten about it.
I'm no basketball player now.
Just your friendly neighborhood counselor.
I told you not to get so worked up, Kanbaru.
You know, do you really think everyone who comes to me for help has serious issues?
All I get is trivial crap.
I refer the people who actually need help to the appropriate legal authority.
Didn't I say that earlier?
I don't go around making things worse, either.
I just lend them a helping ear.
Who am I hurting with that?
I may be laughing at them on the inside, but the look on my face is the very picture of sincere.
You're betraying them the moment you "laugh at them on the inside."
Though I guess saying that is useless.
It is, yeah.
And Numachi, I know what your response will be.
"Apart from the stuff that's clearly out of my league, I do my job and solve all of their problems for them.
You have no right to mouth off at me," right?
Nah.
I don't really do anything.
Like I said, I just listen to them.
I give them a shoulder to cry on and then do nothing.
When they pick option one, I take their letters and then do nothing.
When they pick option two, I tell them I'm on it over the phone and that's the end of it.
And when they pick option three, I get the gist of it and, without prying into the details—
again, without doing anything—
put them on the conveyor belt to the appropriate legal recourse.
She doesn't like stories that are too painful, either.
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The devil only listens to you, nothing more.
But then why does rumor say the devil solves your problems for sure?
You don't do anything, right?
Oh, come on.
That's obviously because, in most cases, time heals all wounds.
When it comes down to it, worries are basically anxieties about one's future.
So all they really need are the words "I'll take care of it,"
and not the actual solving of the problem itself.
But isn't that just escapism?
Isn't that just running away?
Aren't you just making your clients avert their eyes from their problems?
And what exactly is wrong with escapism?
A vast majority of this world's problems can be solved by running away.
While you're running away and putting off the matter at hand, your problems cease to be problems.
It's because people try to solve their issues right then and there that they go through so much pain.
What if, back then—
back when I made a deal with a real devil—
I hadn't tried to face my problems, but just grinned and bore it?
I probably wouldn't have hurt anyone.
And despite what she says, and despite how she says it,
Numachi Rouka has lent a helpful ear to many a high schooler as the devil,
and she has put them at ease.
That seems to be the undeniable truth.
Get your hand off me.
I told you to get your hand off my chest.
So?
What now, Kanbaru?
I'll leave.
What you're doing isn't the least bit admirable.
And your thought process?
I don't understand how you think at all.
But it doesn't look like you're actively making people unhappy.
Taken purely at face value, you're actually helping them out.
I'm glad you understand.
I don't!
See you later, Kanbaru.
It's too bad that our long-awaited reunion turned out like this.
I really wanted it to happen on the court,
but I guess that's one wish that'll never be granted for either of us.
Reality can be so cruel.
That's also a wound that time will heal, right?
Precisely.
Anyway, I'm satisfied with how things turned out.
I'm not the devil indiscriminately taking requests from high schoolers.
Figuring that out is more than enough.
Will there ever come a day when I can sleep without tying my left arm up with packing tape?
Oh.
An old acquaintance of mine (a girl) fondled my boobs.
Message Sent
Count me in!
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Scene no. 421
People look smart when they put on a serious face and rack their brains,
but they've got it all wrong.
Giving things thought isn't always the best option.
Those who nonchalantly take things as they come are the ones that really have the world in their hands.
Worrying is a waste of time.
If you've got the time to think, you've got the time to act.
Forget your problems.
Don't cry over spilled milk.
10th of April
My left arm wasn't the monkey's paw.
It wasn't the devil's arm, either.
It'd gone back to what it was supposed to be: a left-sided human arm.
Scene no. 1
What is this I have stuck inside my heart?
It grows so large I have to talk about it
In the prison that we call freedom
we live half in the past
I'm prisoner to your love-struck response
Immobile, spell-bound, sucked in
Thinking about all the right and wrong decisions now
I am petrified with hesitation
Now you are gone from this chaotic world
My feelings lie buried deep
I run alone to where my heart
commands me
I cut myself lose from the words that tied me down
Nobody will equal me
in my honesty to myself
when I decide
to find someone else now